January 25, 2008

with exciting foreplay
you fill me
with desire...

16 comments:

pepektheassassin said...

A senyru-6-3-3. right? Like a haiku is 5-7-5? Any other qualifications?

Nice work.

gautami tripathy said...

Pepek, Senryu is 5-7-5 and it does not contain a kigo word.

Whatever, this is loaded!

Arty? Not me!!

Sandy said...

PEPEK, if you want to adhere to the 5-7-5 or 17 syllables rule when writing senryu, the same as with haiku then that is your right. I, however do not any longer. There are plenty of fine articles out there explaining as to why it is unnecessary to hold to that rule when writing in English.

Thank you.

Gautami Tripathy, thank you very much.

S

anthonynorth said...

But desire also begins before the foreplay.

keith hillman said...

Amid all this tech talk, there is a beautiful piece crying out for praise! So much from so little. Lovely.

paisley said...

i am with keith... no rules.. just write...

and you my dear have done a magnificent job of that... bravo!!!

Sandy said...

AN, I do not disagree with you but you must remember with senryu there is usually a play on words...now you must find it.

Keith, thank you so very much.

Paisley, thank you very much for your kind words.

S

J. Andrew Lockhart said...

wow! It's amazing what you can do with such few words. :)

Crafty Green Poet said...

I'm always pleased to find people who recognise that 5-7-5 isn't essential to haiku /senryu and that other things are just as important. I enjoyed this senryu. Funnily enough my response to the prompt wasalso a senryu

Rambler said...

Honest depiction of a passionate desire :)

LittleWing said...

all i know is i wanna use this on my next valentine's card...rather steamy and will work perfectly for the occasion....i find haiku/senryu simply divine...

The Mama Bear said...

Sensuality at it's simplest form....love this!
3 lines that pack a punch.

jadey said...

This is awesome. It is so simple and there is no hidden agenda behind it.

M as in Mint said...
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M as in Mint said...
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M as in Mint said...

A without-airs wonder!

Desire